How do u know where the line is in your marriage when your spouse isn't horrible but you've become distant?

When you no longer want sex.


When conversations are forced.


You feel more like roomates.


Your kids adore both of you and they're still little.





Side question: My spouse watches tv in the room when I'm tryng to sleep when he could just go to the living room. Somehow he manages to make it seem like I'M the one being unreasonable and then I feel unreasonable. Can someone dissect that for me.





THanks guys.How do u know where the line is in your marriage when your spouse isn't horrible but you've become distant?
Honestly I think you probably already know where to draw the line at..... look at the first 3 things you wrote...sex, conversation, roommates.... I totally can relate to you, my husband would say the same thing about the watching tv part too.





The question is, is this marriage repairable? Do you want to stay with him? Are you only there for the sake of the kids? It's really hard to be honest with ourselves and even harder to be honest with the man or woman who we've grown to care for...nobody wants to hurt someone else. I would sit down and have a talk with him about all this, away from the tv and certainly away from the kids. If it is repairable go to counseling, if its not end it before you hate each other so that you can maintain a friendly relationship for the sake of your children.





Good luck!How do u know where the line is in your marriage when your spouse isn't horrible but you've become distant?
The line for me (after dealing with similar situation as you, minus kids) was when I needed for my ex spouse to be there for me to deal with something really deep and I asked him to please put aside what he was doing and come home for me, and he refused. After 2 years of begging and pleading for change, I finally had to accept that his self-centeredness would never change. 4 other wives before me could not have been all wrong about the misery of being married to an egocentric man.





It's sad. You could make separate bedrooms and decide together to raise your kids as a business you have together, or you can divorce in the hopes you both can make a happier life without being a reminder of misery and shortcoming for the other. Only you can manifest your self honor and self respect and take a stand for a better happier life. Your kids are not stupid. They know happy when they see it, and they know miserable too. If you put them first, you can make a split work.
I learned the hard way, but the line seems to be when you start asking questions such as yours.





Side question: He loves you, and still wants to be near you despite your above feelings. He Thinks ';You'; are being the unreasonable one because as said, he probably just wants to be near you, even if you are sleeping.
well i don't have my doctorate in psychology yet but i can tell you i can pull down my developmetnal psy book (psych devoted to children) and tell you that despite the transition period its better to divorce for the childrens sake. staying together when there is nothing left deosn't show them how a happy relationship should function, its does teach them to settle, not just in relationships but in all parts of their lives. it causes. the kids need to see you and your husband happy. they need unconditional love and encouragement, and they will do just fine. go find something and somebody that makes you happy
It just depends on what you want for your life. If the passion and desire of your marriage is gone...that is tough and especially with young children. The signs and signals are there, your marriage is going in a downward spiral. Think about your possible options and start becoming proactive to change things. Stay? or Leave? Either way, you are responsible for your personal happiness. Good luck!!
Sounds like marriage, except the tv part could use some improvement.
Need to talk, get away from same old routine, and compromise about the tv