Do you and your spouse actually talk about the mechanics of sex, or do you just do it?

My wife gets clammed up and changes the subject if I mention something that has to do with the particular logistics of sex; for example, if I mention things she did during the act. What's with the secrecy?Do you and your spouse actually talk about the mechanics of sex, or do you just do it?
I think Jim nailed it with his answer. Telling her what was awesome after lovemaking to get easy conversation flowing.





What I do is tell my spouse I was thinking of you today and I should be arrested.


Then I describe my mental picture of said thoughts in detail.


Try it, call her from work and make her day.


It gives your spouse a mental blue print of the mechanics part without having to say..gee honey I wish you would do this.


The other cool thing is it makes them want to try it out because it is a huge turn on to know you are desired with such abandon and that your spouse is fantasizing about you.Do you and your spouse actually talk about the mechanics of sex, or do you just do it?
The subject of sex is still a taboo in a lot of families. Maybe she was raised in such an environment.





1. Make sure that you are attending to her sexual and emotional needs and give her time to learn that it is OK to talk with her husband about sex.





2. Make sure you are listening to her and not just talking. Sometimes there are non verbal messages that something else is going on in a partner's life that is preventing her from wanting to talk about it.





3. Start off slowly telling her how wonderful it was for your or how much you enjoy making love to her and tell her one reason why it was so good. If she changes the subject, let it go. But each time you have sex, do this and with time she will get accustomed and why start responding. Then you can have the longer chats that you are looking for ;-)
I think some people are talkers, some are doers, and others are talkers and doers.





So in your relationship, it's most likely not secrecy, but what comes natural, and it's simply not natural for your wife to talk about it, and your doing so probably makes her feel uncomfortable.





As for me and my spouse, neither of us talk about the nuts and bolts, we just screw!
Truth is - we do it, but its embarrassing to actually talk about the sweaty, nasty things we do. Its like the difference between having a bowel movement and talking about the mechanics of a bowel movement. Its natural, but somehow we're not normally wired about talking about the nasty stuff.





Be kind, and maybe ease into conversations - particularly if you're trying to talk about ways to spice things up. Or, better yet, bring it up after a few drinks.....
What a shame your wife doesn't what to talk to you openly about your love making. Have you asked her why she doesn't want to discuss it?





I'm sure most couples don't discuss the ';mechanics'; of sex while being intimate, but will communicate to each other where, how and what their wants or needs are before and after. some during. Its all part of the getting to know each others likes and dislikes, but after a few years or decades together, I don't understand how a partner would not or could not discuss the finer points of sex.





There really shouldn't be any secrecies. Perhaps she's concerned the children might over hear the conversation, choose a better time to discuss those logistics?
If you love her, just respect her wish. She just doesn't like to talk about those things. I have found out that kind of reaction as a very feminine, thus stimulating men's imagination. Talking about logistic of sex is just like talking about your home improvement plans. You do not need to tell her what you are going to do to her in bed. Just do that in the most intimate manner with a lot of affection. She would definitely prefer that to your '; sex logistic';.
That's weird unless you are newly together. We definitely talk about all the nitty gitty details. We both ask and offer info, before, during, and after. We didn't always, it took time, and trust (on my part),but once I opened up, I feel completely comfortable asking what he wants, answering questions about what I want, and offering info about same.





Keep trying, maybe. She's just not comfortable with you in this way...maybe time will help.





Good Luck!
Maybe she is worried that you will say she is bad in bed. Some people don't like to talk about it. Start by sharing a fantasy or something and then go from there. Start with all the positive things she does. The things that drive you crazy in bed would be a great place to start. My husband and I have been married for three years and we can talk about it very easily.
I'm not married.. I'm divorced now.. but one of the hottest sexual relationships I had was when we were both not only able to communicate our wants and needs, but open to exploration and pushing the boundaries.








%26lt;---------------- Likes knowing what my partner likes! :) and him knowing what I do too! :)
Embarrassment and awkwardness, making love is natural and should not be made complicated by discussing the physics or chemistry of it, it just ruins the fun, it is based on emotions and NOt on science, though still a biological process let her be..
It's probably not secrecy - is she a shy person? maybe that is the problem she could be embarrased because she maybe gets wild or whatever and she knows she wouldnt do that outside of the bedroom but does without thinking about it. if that make sense... = 0
What is there to talk about if we both know what the other likes??





Just do it!





I don't go ';Woah babe, that was a nice move you busted about ten mins into the act'; and nor does he.As long as we got ours we don't care about what actually took place.
Damn, Eddie -- another good question! We talk about it: mechanics, likes, dislikes, turnons, etc. However, I've known women who f**k like w**res but can't talk about a simple kiss outside the bedroom. Weird.
Lately I will walk up to my husband and whisper in his ear all of the kinky things that I am going to do to him when boom boom time is coming and then he does this thing as if I am tickling him, turns red, laughs and tells me how dirty I am.
We talk about it extensively. We watch porn together and tell each what we like and don't like. We like to experiment. Maybe what you should be discussing is why she has hang ups, but don't be pushy. She needs to feel comfortable. Build trust.
I don't know...as long as no one else is around I don't care when my husband brings it up to me. We don't discuss what we're gonna do to eachother before we do it or anything like that (too much talking lol). Some people are very shy about that stuff though.
I personally think it's sexy to talk about it--assuming it isn't criticism or comparison. Are you criticizing your spouse's performance? Don't do this. Or maybe she's just shy.
We could talk about it, but I am a lady, too, so I think I can relate to your wife's feelings. It might depend on how you talk. Do you talk to her lovingly or like she's an object?
How can you learn what your partner likes so you can please them fully if they don't talk about it? Talking about sex is a MUST!
It is healthy to talk about it, maybe you should ask her why it bothers her. Maybe there is a deeper problem.
she gets really turned on by it, especially when we talk about ratchet wrenches and screwdrivers
No secrets here we talk about every thing that happens.
Interesting..possibly embarrassed.





We do talk but we are pretty open about it all ..neither one of us clams up.
We always compliment each other hot bodies.