I had a friend, for example, who had a breakdown, when his wife literally ';ran away with his best friend.'; Neither would ever say how it happened or why they did this to him.
Should a friend be ethically bound to explain his or her reason to another friend, if the first decides to end a relationship? What IS ethical in these situations? What is fair, decent, just?Is it ethical to drop a friend, leave a spouse, without giving any explanation?
I think you owe it to someone to give them closure: some kind of apology, explanation, something. It is cruel %26amp; cowardly to just disappear without a word of warning. Especially to a spouse. I remember one of my ex-boyfriends telling me that the day after his father's 40th wedding anniversary, his dad packed up all his things in a garbage bag %26amp; left in the middle of the night without a word to his wife or kids. Steve heard something %26amp; woke up to see his dad going out with a garbage bag. Brutal. You have a responsibility to the people you love %26amp; that love you. You can't just abandon them like that. But people do it all the time...
Some people can't deal with conflict or confrontation. It is cowardly to have affairs for instance. If you don't love your partner %26amp; are tempted by someone else then you owe it to your partner to be honest %26amp; end the relationship BEFORE you embark on another one. You can't have your cake %26amp; eat it too. So many people want to have both. They lie %26amp; cheat %26amp; sneak around. Then they feel too guilty to face their partner %26amp; admit what they've done so they just vanish. It is unethical as far as I'm concerned.
Any time I've felt unfulfilled in a relationship %26amp; tempted by someone else, I've ended the relationship to start the new one. I may let them down easy (by saying something like ';I love you but I don't think we're right for each other. I'm at a crossroads in my life %26amp; need to go down a different path...'; etc rather than saying ';I don't love you %26amp; I'm falling for someone else...';)
When you sever ties with someone, when you want to part ways with them, you owe it to them to at least tell them why. That is fair, decent %26amp; just. To disappear %26amp; not even give someone closure will be a scar that will stay with them %26amp; never completely heal.Is it ethical to drop a friend, leave a spouse, without giving any explanation?
it is not humanitarian
Are you kidding? Of course its not ethical to just leave someone you have been with without explanation, its not only unethical its cruelty at its max. Anyone who does that is just plain out chicken and deserves to made into mince meat.
ultimatley you should seek happiness in your life....but that does not excuse you from being compassionate to people that are in a weaker position,although survival of the fittest does come to mind....the continuing erosion of the American Culture and deccline of our Society in whole has been progressing....but as Bill Clinton did with robbing the banks,raping the women through his power in office,selling our Nuclear Technology to China,flooding the Country with Crack Cocaine and slaughtering people for their political and religious views,it makes sense to take the good times and damn the world,after all we are all apparenty going to die so why not have as good a time as you can whenever you can?I am no angel,far from it,but I don't personally think even I would just abandon soeone like that,but I guess it depends on why,what was the dude like,what was the chick like that left him...to many variables......he should find a nice hooker...
I would have to say that it's pretty wrong.
First of all, dropping a friend or leaving a spouse is already wrong. Maybe if you want to break up with them, that's fine, but just leaving them? Wow. And there should be a reason for something as horrible as that. If they were to leave, without leaving a note or some sort of hint as to why they would leave, it's just totally wrong. You're telling the truth in the most subtle way, and that hurts more than telling the truth, plain and simple, because the person being hurt can be left to wild conclusions, maybe doubting themselves because it's their fault that they left.
A friend should explain...it makes more sense that way.
I have been in a similar situation. I on the other hand didn't run off with anyone just repaired my own situation and in a way sacrificed my true happiness. Its very very hard to be in the shoes of those who did this. Its like you want to sit and explain things to everyone but because it is this type of situation people turn their backs on you and just want you to stop. But how can you stop your feelings? In 30 years none of this will matter. Just tell your friend to move on as fast as possible and start making a new life for himself.
';If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.';
Sucks for you friend ... but sometimes things are better left unsaid ... but those actions said things very loud and clear ... and actions speak LOUDER than words ... IMO.
It is always ethical to explain why a person does or wants to do what they want to do. Even if it means hurting the persons feelings. It is never wise to not tell the person
May not be fair, may not be nice, but it is life.
I think it's really immature for the wife and friend to do that. She has every right do what she wants, but it's not fair to especially her husband. Everyone needs closure...an explanation of what went wrong....just for their own sanity. At least have the decency to make a phone call if you don't have to balls to do it in person.
When it comes to the friends you should be able to discuss issues, but maybe she is just too embarrassed right now. Give it time and hopefully she'll come around.
It sucks either way...it sounds horrible for all the people involved.
Ethical?- except in the context of marriage, yes. Fair, decent, or just- absolutely not.
no
there are no ethics in play here. neither is fair, decent, or just in this equation. lust is the motivational force at work here. don't expect anything even slightly resembling normal behavior. normal might be the best you could hope for. but i doubt that you will see that either.
the wife and best friend are no doubt in love(in their own minds, anyhow). love or lust, take your pick.
i hope no children are involved. but to appeal to common sense in a case like this is useless.
No. Totally unethical. It is totally unjustifiable to walk out on a marriage with zero explanation after you've sworn ';I do'; in front of witnesses and especially in front of God.
While living in Louisiana, I met my ';fiancee's'; ...?boyfriend!?Neither of us knew of the other. He was older than me and liked the blues as well. WE got along great! ...while sitting on the tail gate of his truck and drinking a few cold ones, and listening to the radio, OUR ? ...girlfriend pulls up ...!..?
...I said everything was cool. ...However, the next morning, while she went to the store, I packed my car with a few clothes, and guitars, abandoned the rest, and was pulled over in Mississippi doing 92 mph, on the way back home to Tenn. It was a good move for me, saved me jail time from doing something that would have resulted in ..jail time!!!
...So, sometimes it's just best to split. ...( and I felt she had a good idea why I left.) PS...a brief explanation to the officer, resulted with his blessings on starting a new life, ...';just take a little more time getting there.'; ...good cop!
Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you.
Yikes, I think it depends on the situation.
But if I had to answer Yes or No. I'd say Yes.
Its not worthy even to think so
While I feel badly for your friend that lost his wife to his best friend. Who knows ethics these days? Was it ethical for the President of the President of the United States that was a lawyer to lie to a Grand Jury? I didn't think so. Back on the subject my husband left me and our family without a explanation, I didn't have a break-down. He has never been ordered to pay child support or help me in any way and it's been ten years now. Will he ever pay , Oh I think so. Do I care , well yes things could have been ended much better, much less open ended. The best I ever got out of him was'; no I really wasn't that good to you.'; I would hope he is happy , but I doubt it. You know what they say on wall street '; if you want a friend get a dog.';
No it isnt ethical - or legal for that matter. A marriage is a legal and binding contract that must either be honored or dissolved in the proper manner. Leaving friends behind is another matter - it is not nice, but it isnt unethical. However, a spouse has a legal contract with this individual and it must be handled legally to dissolve it if that is what the person wants. Pax - C
Everything in this life has a motive, a reason. For every kind of action the human being does requires an explanation, if in those cases you don't leave any explanation the course of the actions will not have any meaning and you will be leaving a great emptiness and without a logical answer what you do in your life, simply it makes you shallow and without direction whatever you do!
Good Luck and see ya!
Of course she deserves and explanation. Those that don't give one are cowards. They just broke a heart and can't even give them the courtesy of closure. That is just sad. I hope your friend will be okay.
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